Show Me Reality

counting calories on a box
I know I look like a fox
pinching skin calling it fat
constantly hearing " I like that."
snapping rubber bands to fight the hunger
I know I can control this for much longer
smoke a ciggarette as a meal 
I like the way the attention makes me feel 
breaking apart day by day
maintaining flawless skin just to stay
the pain, the guilt, the lies, the shame
the hard part is its no longer a game
it's gone so far bruises to show
sick of living this way, but I wont let go