shut up

shame courses through my veins as if it were 

the adrenaline i lack

that familiar sour taste in my mouth

and my head resting against the toilet seat

a tear runs down my cheek

i taste it

there’s no flavor

i’d wonder where it went but I don’t have the capacity

i hope my parents don’t find me here 

they’d be so worried

i don’t want them to worry

all because of me

wherefore art thou, health

the health i’ve been told to maintain

the very same health i could never obtain

the health that’s evaded me