Sick

Location

02062
United States
42° 10' 37.992" N, 71° 12' 15.3432" W

i feel sick.
sick from the hurt
from the pain
from the hate i want to feel,
but cannot.
sick from the hole in my heart
from the helplessness
from the power you have over me
sick to my stomach when i see your face
sick from how you are treating me
sick from the anger.
anger, but not hate.
sick because i cant hate you
no matter how hard i try
no matter how you treat me
no matter how mean you are
it makes the pain worse
it makes it hurt more
but it doesnt make me hate you
i just feel sick
sick because i want to deny i ever loved you
sick because i still do
despite what you’ve done
sick because i dont want to
sick
tired
exhausted
of loving you
sick because im fed up with the tears
but i can’t escape them
cant escape the feeling
that i’m just another disappointment
that i’m unlovable
that i wasnt good enough
that i’ll never be good enough
or pretty enough
that it was my fault
that i’m the guilty one
because i loved you
sick because you know me so well
you know how to make me upset
you know what to do
to make me
hurt
and youre doing a damn good job of it
sick from the silence
sick because i want to scream
sick because i feel lost and alone
sick because you said you’d never abandon me
and yet here I am.
and where are you?
sick because of all the broken promises
sick because i feel empty
abandoned
helpless
powerless
discarded
defeated
broken
ugly
alone
angry
confused
let down
manipulated
played
used
hurt
sick.

Comments

espie445

This is for everyone who has suffered at the hands of their significant other

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