Side effects of poetry

Growing up I wrote stories of animals and small houses,

my mind was still innocent,

not yet touched by society.

When I hit the age of 15, my world was shattered as I heard gun shots ring out in the hallways of my school,

my innocence was obliterated and I wrote, 

pleading with God to take the memories away.

I spent a lot of time wondering why that had happened to me, and when the nightmares would end.

A year later I was in a relationship where I was disrespected constantly,

I didn't know any better. I was young.

But daily I was put down, picked on and fought with. 

All from someone I swore loved me.

I learned that writing through a break up helped me get closure.

I was only 16.

And in a month I'll turn 18,

I've lived a lot of life, and not to sound cliche, but I've learned a lot.

I've met numerous people with broken hearts;

too often I let other people's burdens drag me down.

Recently I've found myself writing about these experiences,

there are days where I pick up the pen and I write two lines, erase, three lines, erase, and give up. 

Other times I sit on my floor and the words are never ending.

I've found the most amazing thing with poetry, is it's not just an mental thing.

As I write my mind reels with words that aren't yet on paper,

my fingers grasp the pencil tighter,

almost as if holding it tighter will cause the words to spill out faster,

my heart beats like a drum in my chest and subconsciously I block out everything around me.

When I put the pencil down, the feelings I conjured up while writing remain for hours.

In some cases I feel joy, and in others my heart feels as if it's being chipped away.

Poetry is addictive because of the feeling you get as you're letting your words bleed onto the paper.

The ability to create something that makes people feel deeply is such a beautiful thing.

I believe poetry is the most honest form of writing,

and because of that,

feelings of sadness, hurt, joy and amazement can all be felt at once in a whirlwind of emotions,

quickening your breathing,

amplifying your emotions to something you've never felt before.

And these are the side effects of poetry.