The Silence

Dusk settles on the land

And my curling breath fades to blue then gray 

As the sun slips beyond the horizon 

And shadows leak into the day 

 

Sometimes I welcome it

The silence is nice

It drifts in like the soft smell of rain and someone's old jacket 

Warm socks

And an autumn breeze

Just me and my thoughts at night

I reflect on the leaves

And wonder why it is they dance 

In the breeze

To make such beautiful music 

 

Sometimes the Silence settles thickly 

Until it suffocates the sky

And then my thoughts turn to oil that slip 

Right through the cracks in my skull 

And settle

Like a heavy weight in my stomach 

 

The world is bathed in cool shadow

Gray and blue and you and I

My feet slip soundlessly on the padded floor

And everything is so still 

And silent

And peaceful 

And the world can't hurt me here

Under my blanket fort 

Where the only sound is Silence

And the whir of my ceiling fan 

 

The world is bathed in shadow

Blue and gray and oil 

And the world can hurt me here

The Silence doesn't soothe the echoes

But agitates them 

Stirs them up until they ricochet against my skull 

And dusk no longer smells of Autumn and leather jackets 

And my ceiling fan is silent 

My blanket fort is just a heap of tangled fabric

Thrown off in the rush of a nightmare

 

The Silence sings in my head(invades my thoughts)

A welcome presence(A parasite )

Sometimes I think of leather jackets of tea of books and rain (of senseless chatter of smoke and a lighter of drunken laughter as dry and cold as autumn leaves)

 

And sometimes 

When the Silence neither loves nor hates me

And when I have no particular feelings for it

I feel nothing

I am in the middle of two extremes

And I'm not quite sure I like it here

Because the Silence can be loving 

But it can also be torture

And it is all that I know 

 

So please

The next time you ask me what's wrong 

Or tell me to speak up 

Consider the fact that

I am not trapped inside my head 

But taking comfort in my thoughts

And maybe waging a war against them