Silence

Silence is deafening so I fill the void in between my ears and through my veins with noise.

Hoping it will satisfy my thirst

Or quell my fears

Or give me something to smother the monsters with and get me through the night.

So I waste time with noise,

White noise turning my ears red and burning out the feelings of blue

Numbing me and making me focus on something other than the sound of my jugular 

Pounding on my ears

My insides crying for relief, but my mind wary of silence

It's hard to let go and make certain the uncertainty

To embrace the silence and whatever comes with it

But I have to hold up my hands and succumb to the fatigue

Each muscle reluctantly relaxes

As if my body was testing the water

Making sure each part of me is safe

And soon I've done it

Fallen asleep without hitting the ground 

Shown myself that silence is a cloud, a trampoline, just below your leap of faith

And if I just take the first step, all I have to do is wait.