This Silence

I have always loved silence,

but this silence,

It is heavy,

It is tense,

It is loud.

Now all our mindless chatter and banter,

Our whispers, giggles, laughter,

Endless conversations about everything and nothing.

The back and forth of words,

analyzing people, food, news and tv shows,

analyzing dreams, scripture, culture.

Secrets, Yes!

Telling it all,

not holding back at all,

not ever thinking twice of what to say or when.

Sometimes, staying silent but speaking volumes

with our eyes and our smiles and with funny gestures,

like lifting up noses and eyebrows and nodding,

as if to say,

I hear you.

Comforting words,

that soothe the deepest hurt and pain and loss.

Phone calls,

just to say hello,

sometimes too long,

but pleasurable and enjoyable and memorable and,

All this have been buried,

in this silence.

How can we be short of words?

How can we not get past this awkwardness

and whatever it is that has brought darkness to our light?

Why can’t we go back to our bright smiles?

Prattling, babbling about whatever it is that makes us tick.

Why can’t we use the same words that always brought us joy

and peace and love,

To say,

something like,

Sorry or

Let’s talk about this or

Let’s go back or

Let’s forget and

Let’s forgive or

Let’s get past this or

Can we get past this?

Can we try?

Can we trust?

Can we start all over?

Because,

everything is better,

than words unsaid, words unspoken,

words concealed, hidden, covered,

in this silence!

I have always loved silence,

but this silence,

It is heavy,

It is tense,

It is loud.

This Silence!

LOUD!