Silent Chaos

Thoughts race through my mind, and my blanket hugs me too tight. Tempestuous clouds creep in under a doom-written sky, dragging in the bleak cold against its will. A meager sheet of thin ice lies upon my eyes, and they begin to shut. Kaleidoscopic images slowing float in, as gracefully as ice skaters dance. The cold begins to blockade my once found plans of escape. Another night, another nightmare.

The air begins to liberate its way from my lungs, I gasp for the much desired, Yet foul air. The wind murmurs then starts to bellow. The Sour, cruel spoken words plant a fire in my heart and smoke causes me to awaken again. I leap from my bed, adrenaline jolting its way throughout my body as if I were a puppet. I quickly stuff my feet into clunky boots, throwing on a coat that’s far too big. I race outside, hoping my bike could take me anywhere. I race by the dim street lamps, darkness seeming to lurk right outside the small yellow circles of light.

Flaming, vibrant tears, start to fracture the ice with an intense, obscure sound. The sound… Of my own voice; Sobs no less. “There isn't anything left.,” I whisper to the screaming silence. I stop on the side of the road, trying to tame my beastly sobs that have a mind of their own. Plopping down on the cool grass, I fall on something uncomfortable- a useless brick in my pocket that, by no means, can comfort me. I keep rambling on and don't even make an effort to glance at the messages on my phone. I just wish to lie still somewhere...somewhere yet I am nowhere. Stranded in my own petty, insignificant world.

I get on my bike, really studying my atmosphere. But why should I? None of it really matters anymore. I ride for what feels like an eternity, a flame still brewing in my heart, with my tears appearing less and less. I am once again, heartbroken…

The storm clouds start to come back and I hit an unforgiving rock in my way. My bike instinctively turns, forcing me to fall off right on top of train tracks. My heart burning, my thoughts screaming, and absolutely no energy. I debate on resting or not but my brain seems to be put on autopilot. I stop crying and it starts to rain, I don't need to cry… the rain is crying for me. The raindrops gently fall on my cheek, as if a mother’s hand came down from the clouds to wash my tears away. I close my eyes, wondering what my actual mother would say or do if she saw such a hopeless sight. I hear the soft sounds of “warning” approaching quickly yet I cannot move. I hear the outside world get louder as my thoughts get quieter and then...Silence.