The Silently Dying

Quiet calm,

a contrast to the raging current of thoughts inside

Pain crashing in waves, threatening to drown me

So many feelings and emotions, a tumult inside

Smiles and laughter, a mask that surrounds me

Outwardly happy, so that nobody sees

the darkness within me, the silently dying

Deceiving words,

I babble endlessly to occupy my lips

so they can’t release the burning fire inside

building up pressure like a volcano ready to explode

The shadows are rising,  

pain washes in like an unstoppable tide

memories of you flooding my mind

I must find release, before it’s too late

so save me from my past,

or there won't be a future

Silently dying,

Need to learn how to talk

or explode from the silence

I’d tell you what’s wrong, but I don’t really know

How can I talk when I can barely breathe

the very thought of it is suffocating

but yet I dont even understand it myself

Hopeless

what is wrong with me? I scream into the abyss

but there’s no one to hear me, no one who cares

The darkness is growing, overpowering me

I’m dying inside, bleeding and burning, about to burst

at night tossing and turning running from

devils and demons who won't let me go

they chase me in my dreams

and they haunt me in the day

there’s no escape, no safe place to get away

no way to hide

I’m trapped,

I’m panicking

I’m losing hope

I can’t keep running

I’m giving up

all my bridges are burned

I have no where left to go

they have caught me

It’s over.

Life ends with the crack of a gun

the thud of body falling down

with the swish of a blade

the gurgle of red water down a drain

with the tightening of a rope

the creaking of a ceiling fan under strain

so many ways, they all mean the same

one less heart beating

one more grave filled

one less voice speaking

a life ends without meaning

a reasonless waste,

when it would have been so easy to save

with just a few kind words

or a friend who cares

but it didn’t happen

no one came

so one kid

broken

silent

dies

alone