Silk

If this were a poem, it would be the best poem ever written.

It would be like rain falling at night, when you can’t sleep and if you strain your ears you can just, just hear the gentle sound of the drops hitting the grass

It would be your greatest fear

It would bring about world peace, a cure for cancer and the common cold.

It would be eating soggy cereal you left out in the sun and rejoicing

It would make you laugh and cry at the same time, like all good things

It would be quiet laughter at a story in your head, but not mean laughter, the kind of laughter someone laughs when you’ve blown them away

It would be hope, the things with feathers that you buy frozen at the supermarket and spend days preparing, and then cook to perfection to share with your family around an over crowded table

It would be like stubbing your toe when you are trying to find your way in the dark and you desperately need the to find the bathroom

It would be like an umbrella filled with holes

It would be all your mother and father taught you before you could speak

It would be silk

It would be eyelids drooping, sagging, melting down as the floodgates to your imagination bursts open

It would be that mixture of dread and nausea you get just before you confess

It would be power and love, devotion and indifference

It would be all the people who love you and all the people you love

It would be everything you ever remembered and everything you ever forgot

It would be a subtle glance, a beautiful doodle that will eventually be recycled with all the rest of the handouts you get in school

It would be storm clouds, a leather belt

It would make you happy and it would make you beautiful

It would be singing the most beautiful melody alone in your car at night

It would be a stapler

It would be pride

It would be a picture frame that you broke and was fixed for you

It would be the most wonderful music you’ve ever heard, stuck in your head like a puzzle

It would be holding hands with a stranger as you hurtle towards your doom

It would be seeing your sister’s face, and just for one second before your brain catches up, not recognizing her, and wondering who she is, why she is so happy to see you

But it’s not a poem, and yes, I’m fine. Everything is just fine.