Sister, I miss her

I look at the photo

My dad, he’s not even smiling

His pained expression

My glossy eyes

My sister shines in her polkadot dress

Prepared to branch out on her own

We brought her to college

To her new life

The long hug we shared

Tightly wrapped in each other's arms

I was shaking from head to toe

I didn’t want to let go

I wanted to take her right back in the car

And buckle her in myself

I didn’t want to go weeks without her

Not knowing when we’ll next meet

She’d be hours away

Miles away

I would miss our fights

Miss her tantrums

Miss the sound of her heels

Will she call?

Does she have enough money?

Will she be okay?

Were the questions

Shooting through my mind

I know she’s nervous

I can tell by her darting eyes

It’s a big new place to be

But this is everything she has wanted

My sister is no timid soul

She’d take Madison by its’ throat

She’d be off at college

Living the life

Leaving me in place as the big sister

But she’s the big sister

The bossy

Annoying

Controlling

Big sister she is

“Not those shoes,” she would comment

“Tell me what you said,” she would demand

“What did you do?” she would ask

But when the camera snapped

I tried my best to smile

I really , really did

I wanted a nice picture to show

To remember our last times

Before the rest of my family left

I took a last look at her

Her tiny stature

I swear she was just eight

And I was just five

Wasn’t she?

Wasn’t I?

But she’s eighteen

And here I’m fifteen

When did that even happen?

I realized at the same time I was growing up

So was she

Sister, I already miss her

I didn’t want to leave her

With hardly anyone she knew

Can’t we just take her back?

Community college could work

But not for my sister

She deserved the very best

She’s my sister

My big sister

My co worker

My friend

But we drove away

We left her there

Sometimes I wish we didn’t

But I knew if we took her back

She’d miss opportunities

Chances

For everything she’s worked for

So we left her

Sister, I really miss her

But I know it’s for the best