Sister's Keeper

“There’s no sunshine when she’s gone,and she’s always gone too long, every time she goes away”

I've cried every night since you left
pondering on the idea, the endless ticking of this winding clock,

each tick mimicking  the sound of my heart beat.

beating myself up,this guilt scorching its way up from my throat to my mouth

Indecisive thoughts, on whether or not I was the best sister. Staring at these pastel walls hard enough that I can see my reflection but this reflection does not mirror the self I am familiar with digging my watery eyes into my own soul.

Everything begins to fade with each tear that I shed that counts the number of times you've felt unsatisfied
The sound of your empty laughter still echoes in my mind but I can no longer identify the difference between your cries loud thumbs of rain to a window seal

I can't save you

The streets can't give you the attention that you fiend for
I can't stop those razor blades that you introduced to the surface of your skin searching for the comfort of your fatherless bloodstream
But I think you've become careless to the  idea that the same blood that flows through your veins are distributed throughout mine

Label us as sisters not because that's what we are but because that is all you'll be to me after you mold into the needy screams of the night with its oso frigid but oso warming acceptance, Carving your Pain into your skin instead of the tree trunk.

The hesitant sun rises to its peak and shame lays on my tongue with the lies I'm about to tell concerning your whereabouts
Mom looks at me wide eyed knowing I am the encyclopedia that holds all your information

Call me the blade:that you interfere with your skin ripping away at your confidence
Call me the streets: that gives You the opportunity to rebel against what's best for You:

Because you just want to be "Young" but haven’t been taught yet

Call Me the attention: that you always enjoyed to be the center of.

Call Me the next boy you say "I love you" to but you don’t truly know the meaning of love:

because You’re searching for a father figure in him when in reality he doesn't understand the characteristics of a "Broken Girl"

Call me the fault for your empty cries
and my ignorant advice I used as a comfort for your fractured soul.

I'll call you "My Sister" Not because that is what you are.. but because the affection my heart contains for you is much greater than the one you seek somewhere else

My Sister, I can no longer save you My sister

I’ll always be your sister;your secret keeper