Size 2
Location
The media and its responses
to little girls' pleas at night
hoping the answer will be right.
"You are beauty my dear child."
Mirrors lie,
TV hides the real women behind makeup and silkscreens.
Fake.
Not true but false.
You're not right you're the wrong
in the world.
Not trying to fit in and please the eye.
Not trying to cover up those thighs or that butt
that must be all fat since it looks too good to be true.
It's not, just real skin and shapely curves
with hurtful words written all over.
That they glued to her not size 2 self.
It's plenty of a number with room to spare.
Hidden under baggy clothes
dripping off her non-existent shoulders.
Ill-fitting garments
are all she can muster as she shrinks her waist and bust,
like someone once told her that she must
be thin to be loved
not judged.
Cherished while she dies inside.
All the innocence squeezed out
as the room for bones and muscle grows smaller
her heart gets harder.
Until it sputters and bursts within her chest
because even that couldn't hold her together.
I would change how girls react to their reflections.
With open arms instead of an arms race to
cut and slice the excess
or the absence of,
but to her it's all the same.
If only I could change the stereotypes.
Strip the measuring tape of power.
Down with the anarchy of numbers
ruling our lives until we can only count down
calories like a ticking time bomb.
No time for dessert.
Vomit tastes better coming up
but empty toilets are better than full ones.
So shut the fuck up voices.
Only noises now.
The tables are turning
as stomach acid is churning
a finally full feast of food
because I was able to change how I felt
as I ate without hate in a race
to grow big and strong.
I broke the scale with the alphabet spelled out,
"I love myself."
Who knew it would just shatter.
I win, she won, they ruled their lives again.
Free of chains of self-deprecation
with little things getting recognized.
Someone paid attention.
She did.
She is awakened anew.
If I can change myself
than you too can be
not like Barbie.
But a real woman
with hopes and dreams
for a future
where all bodies are beauty.
Not just a size 2.