"So, I Let It Go.."

Why do we act like we have to be strong? Why do we act like no one could ever understand? Why do we act like no one cares? Why do we hide the pain? Why do we put on a front? Over the past four years I’ve perfected the art of faking it. I’ve built walls too high to climb and made them attractive so no one would feel the need to check what’s on the other side. Smiles and laughter, hugs and small talk and people are content. No one stopped to hear the silent cries of the broken girl trapped on the inside of her own devices. My walls were my safety and demise; my freedom and jail. That is in the past, but I am not alone in this. We all fake it. We all pretend we’re okay. But why? Why? Why? Why would we pick lies and loneliness over comfort and community? Why do we pick fake smiles over real ones and healing? Why do we choose to be alone? Why is pain a refuge? Why are we all so broken; refusing to get help, to be help, and to help others? When was the last time you asked to really know someone? When was the last time you didn’t buy into the lies and craved the truth? When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes and said “Who are you?” “How are you?” “And are you okay?”? When was the last time you helped a friend who is haunted by their past, searching for the light; searching for hope? When was the last time you ached over the tears of those hurting and stuck? When was the last time you went and helped the dirty and unloved? When was the last time you went out of your way just to say hey to someone who looked like they had the worst day ever? When was the last time you did something big like looking into someone’s eyes and saying you’d help them through it? That you’d be there for them? Better yet, actually following through with it and truly being there? When was the last time it bothered you that in a world of 7 billion people, some still feel alone? When was the last time you decided it’s been enough? Has it ever happened? Will it ever? If you can tell or not I’m very frustrated, this is not alright. None of this is right. How do we have the nerve to claim we give Love and Hope if we aren’t doing anything and if we don’t care? Why would we claim it? Is it took look good? Is it to feel better about ourselves? Is it to pretend we actually care? I’m sick of it. I’m talking to myself here as much as anyone else. I apathetically go through life not caring about the people around me and it disgusts me. I’m about to throw out a word, scary and unknown, but hold on, you’ll make it through. Community. Did you catch that? I’m not talking about a fake community filled with smiles all the time, I’m not about a community filled with hope and love. A community sometimes filled with tears and hurts, because they are a part of life. I’m talking about a group of people who do life together; the hard times and the good times. I’m talking about being real and genuine. I’m talking about honesty. I’m a dreamer, I know, but do you know what that would do? If we looked into the people around us instead of looking at them; if we asked to know and be known. What if we decided there wasn’t a problem or a scar that we couldn’t talk about? What if we kicked elephants out of living rooms and made room for life? What if we took the hurting people in our lives and told them we would be there and then answered the phone when they called? What if we truly cared? What if we truly and honestly and madly loved the dying broken world around us? What if we actually did what we were called to do? To be Lovers bold in the most broken of places, pouring ourselves and every part of our lives out again and again until we’re called home? What if this wasn’t just a lofty thought? What if it was a strategy to love this hurting and broken world? What if these words written between hurricane and harbor, morning and midnight, were real and changed us? I’ll tell you what, the world would be changed. We could help put down the blades and the bottles. We could take down the walls and the hate and the pain. We could and would bring light to the darkness and hope to the hopeless. We could save lives, if we only loved. Honesty is scary. Honesty shows we hurt and have our problems and downfalls, but honesty helps the healing process. Honesty shows we are willing to listen and to care. A recent favorite quote depicts this perfectly and will be the quote that ushers in the soon approaching end. “My heart was too big for my body, so I let it go.” We aren’t meant to do this life alone; no one is meant to do this life alone. I leave you with a hope that one day we would know and be known. That one day we would open up and love this hurting world. That one day we would be like candles, giving love and light, and telling ghosts to go; telling the hurt to go. Today is that day. Love is the Movement. Let’s move.