So Long

Dear Depression,

You are a dark cloud that has been hanging over

the town that is my life for far too long.

You are a machine whose only purpose 

is to stop other machines from working properly.

You make sad days look like happy ones,

and the actual happy ones look like impossibilities, and I,

I am an abandoned castle, torn down,

with no defenses left to stop you coming in

and spreading your pointless anxiety and guilt

like graffiti on my walls.

I am an empty diray, complete with a pen

just for you to write your lies all over.

I am the only one who believes your lies;

the senile grandparent to your email scammer, but

no more. This is where we end.

You and I's relationship stops now.

For far too long you have controlled me,

about as delicately as a child plays with

the toy in his McDonald's Happy Meal.

You've taken over my life,

the way a dictator takes over a country.

"It's for the best that you stay home,"

you say with your charming accent, and inviting blue eyes,

"no one wants to talk to you anyways."

I believe you, or rather,

believed you, but for no longer.

I started going to therapy today. I quit my job. 

I'm deserting all the things that have caused me nothing but pain,

and yes dear, that includes you.

Because for too long, you have been driving this car,

and now, as we careen wildly towards a cliff, I'm jumping out,

even if I break every bone in my body,

because it would still be better than to listen to you scream

insane phrases directly in my ear, while pushing the pedal

all the way through the floor.

So goodbye, Depression. I no longer need you,

no longer want you, not that I ever did of course, but now,

I'm taking the reigns of this wild horse.

I'm making the decisions around here.

I'm taking back the life that you merely rented for a time.

You are not one to me,

nor have you ever been,

nor will you ever be.

So long.