So Lost

Through pain and crys I stand there glaring

Seeing the aftermath of my mistake

I can't help but watch the pain their sharing

As I sit here wishing this was fake

My mind is here but my body isnt

I feel no pain yet mental tears fall on nothing

The family I had is now very distant

The thought of that keeps them rushing

I scream and yell "I'm still here" 

But they only hear the sobs of others

Even down here I still feel fear

For whats to come for my loving brothers

This place where clouds hide the golden gates

Is not where I'm wishing my loved ones better fates