So Misunderstood

"You're so relaxed about this!" they say,

and I pretend that I am.

But really, I'm not.

For inside me, I've been conflicted,

grappling over the future.

On the outside I'm ready,

I'm going to go to college,

get a degree,

make my parents so very proud.

But they don't know what's going on,

behind that fake smile.

I'm petrified,

My mind frozen in indecision.

Where do I go?

What will I do?

I've eluded these questions all my life.

Now, they're not going anywhere.

And I don't know what to do.