Society: The Extremes of Life.

Let me smile and conceal my pain,

So that you feel better.

So, you feel more secure and safe

Because if I cry, then I’m an attention craver.

If I cry, then I’m missing out on the good things in life.

And I’m selfish. I’m weak.

I’m pathetic and I need to get my act together.

If I cry, then I’m wasting time.

I need to put my feelings aside and get work done.

I need to focus on things more important than my emotions.

If I cry, then I’m too serious and I need to lighten up.

I need to ‘look at the brighter side’.

Look at ‘the bigger picture’.

If I smile, I’m annoying.

‘Why are you always smiling, you look stupid’

‘She’s so irritating. Why is she smiling so much?’

If I smile, I’m weird.

I’m creeping people out.

Making them feel uncomfortable once again.

If I smile, I’m ‘doing too much’.

I need to ‘sit down’.

Or ‘chill out and take a nap’.

If I just so happen to be too thick, I’m fat.

I need to diet or starve myself.

Because you know, who wants to date a fatty?

If I just so happen to be too thick, I have B.O

People should stay away from me since I’m so fat.

Can’t even get up to take a shower.

If I just so happen to be too thin, I’m anorexic.

I need to eat more.

I look sickly.

If I just so happen to be too thin, I’m food insecure.

I don’t know when my next meal is going to be.

I’m not in a good home.

If I this if I that.

Life isn’t based on if’s.

Life isn’t based on what others think about you, yet it affects us so much.

Life isn’t based on what you should and shouldn’t look like, yet we try our best to look good.

Life isn’t based on comparisons, yet we can’t help but to judge others.

Life isn’t based on putting others down, yet it appears that’s been the trend for decades.

Life isn’t based on how many friends you have yet, we always try to make so many of them, just to find out that the only real friend we have, is ourselves.

I found that out the hard way.

I came home one day from school crying because I couldn’t fit in. I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why I couldn’t ever win.

I couldn’t comprehend why not one person would let me be who I truly am.

I called my mom in my Nana’s room right after school, crying and complaining

‘Mom I want to be skinny. I want to be pretty. I want to finally win.’

My mother had enough of my miserableness and said to me with a stern voice:

‘I can’t live your life for you. If you want to change and win you must do it yourself. Nothing in life will be handed to you except life itself, and that can be taken away at any given moment. Work for what you want and stop crying for it.’

After exchanging brief words, it all finally clicked in my mind and I realized, even at such a young age, that every word she spoke dripped with truth and realization.

My Nana came into the room and seen my pale face and my red eyes and nose and just gave me a Mentos candy along with a back rub and a kiss on the cheek.

She’d been the epiphany of ‘actions speak louder than words’ because with every kiss on the cheek she gave me, and every rub she blessed me with, I could just hear her saying, ‘you gon be alright child.’

Ever since then I’ve gained confidence. I’ve gained knowledge of self-worth.

I, now, realize that no matter your weight, your skin color, your hair, even your facial characteristics,

If you can make someone laugh, or brighten their day by just a little bit, you’ve already won.

You’ve undone the spell in which another has casted; the spell of anger or sadness. You’ve won by being there for someone when no one else was. You’ve won by being yourself and being friendly to others. I don’t need to have a ‘just right body’, or a clear face, and pin straight hair to make someone happy.

Fortunately, I’m able to do it right in this cozy clay I’m molded into, right in this very moment.

I will forever be grateful for my peers, my teachers, my friends, but most importantly; my family and the people who despise me. It’s like fire and ice. The complete opposite come together to form a great balance. Me. And you too.