Solace in the stones

The walls that once held facination and wonder
now feel like the bricks of a prison.
These stories and books I loved to read
taste so bitter on my lips that I dare not speak them.
The erratic beat of my racing, impatient heart
is only the first sign of churning panic.
I once sought solace in this place
yet now these moments seem wroght with oppression.
Not much has changed since those first scholarly days,
which causes me to realise with a dawning
that I drown in this ocean of dread
because the knowledge I need is now a chasm yawning.