A soldier

It's hard to believe that you're gone. The boy who went to serve but never came back. The boy who died and took my heart along. I'll be thinking about you for the rest of my life. The boy who's name is tattooed on my heart, tattooed on my wrist. The soldier who I loved from day one. The boy who was always a mystery. The boy who never lied, but never told. The boy who was always a little scared, a little misunderstood, a little not good enough.

The serious boy with the back story never told. What was in your heart, pretty boy? What was your love? You never actually told. Now, you're gone and I sit here wondering, questioning, pondering. I think about you all the time. Stare at the name I've drawn, written, studied a thousand times. you were a soldier, a fighter. You stole my heart, but not before I gave it to you. Now I watch as your mother cries, receiving a flag and the tragic news of her baby boy. These tears forever fall in my heart, from my eyes, down my cheeks, to the ground. I'm begging, pleading, tell me it's not true. Tell me you're still out there somewhere. Tell me you've just lost your way for a while. Tell me you're coming home. Tell me you'll be here. I don't care if you don't feel like I feel. I don't care if you never love me. Just tell me you're coming home. Tell me your mama will get to see you, hold you, kiss your face again. Tell me a soldier's coming home today; tell me that soldier's you.

You'll always be good enough to me, no matter what you think. It's never been just a little or not at all. It's always be yes, no hesitation. I've been sitting here, just hoping, praying that you're gonna be okay. That you're just joking and you're gonna be coming home. Can I really just sit here when the government is saying that my love is gone? It's been a few weeks and they still can't find you. They've given up, but me and you? We're not through! I can't just give up on the one who has my heart. I've cried myself to sleep every night. I stand here and even the mirrors putting up a fight. I'm missing everything that we use to be. I miss the way we laughed together, and our crazy memories. I miss the way you hugged so tight. I miss the frustrated look on your face when your truck didn't corporate. I miss the you always seemed so serious, and then had little bursts of playfulness that seemed to come out of no where. I miss the way you use to look at me. I think, even though you never said it, you maybe did miss me too. But I know absolutely for sure that I'm missing you... So, please.. Tell me a soldier is coming.. Home.

They say you're gone for good, but this isn't something I can just accept. They bring me no dog tags; they have no body for me to put to rest. They say that you were a brave soldier, a soldier who fought 'til the end. I know the first part is true... But what if, it isn't the end. Until they bring me a body to bury; until they bring me proof that you are truly gone. I cannot just accept the one that I love is dead. My mind tells me, 'give up, move on, he's gone.' It whispers softly through the night. It creaks the words as I walk across the floor, then wind haunts me with a simple 'he's gone' and slams the door. My heart of hearts tells me, 'Hold on tight, now all dreams end at morning's light. Don't look now, he could be still out there. Now pretty baby, don't you know, it's just not right.' As I cry myself to sleep, my mouth breathes the words, I only wish someone would tell me a soldier is coming home.

I would do anything to be in his shoes and him to be home. I would rather me die than he. I would give up anything and everything for him to be okay. So I beg of you, pretty pretty please, tell me a soldier is coming home.