A Soldier

So I jump into my ocean,

I try to blame others but I'm the one who put this war into motion.

It's like I'm asking for peace,

Yet everything I do is marked on the path to war.

But I swear a soldier anymore.

I live my life on a battlefield,

At least figuratively,

So my words become weapons and my pride becomes a shield.

I keep praying to the sky,

When I really don't believe.

My intentions are good,

But my heart is empty.

So I try to say I'm not a soldier when the lights go out,

The struggle to stand up when everything is dragging you down.

Can I find my way to a better future?

First I have to leave my past where it belongs.

I don't think that I can do this any longer,

So I guess it's a good thing that I'm getting stronger.

So I have the mind of a soldier and the soul of a poet,

I'm scared to take the risk because I just might blow it.

If my words are my weapons,

Then I pray that I take no casualties.

So I'm finally letting the war be over,

I'm no longer a soldier.