Some of us just hide the crazy better

I'm not perfect, but I never wanted to be. I wonder if you can really see me. I see a future that seems so beyond me. I want to be known for the kind heart that eats at me. I'm not perfect but I never wanted to be. I pretend to love myself and no one else. I feel the heat of my blood rise in my cheeks. I touch the center of my chest to check that I'm still here. That I can still feel my heart beating. I worry I'm not good enough to make it out on my own. What if I end up with no food, clothes, or a place to call home? I cry at night when it feels like the aching of my frantic heart can't he tamed. I cry because for some reason I keep replaying excruciating pains. I'm not perfect but I never asked to be. I understand I have so much to offer in this lifetime. I say it's all worth it if you brush yourself off and try. I dream to be the confidence I mimic day after day. I try to be what the world seems to look down upon. I try to be different in all the right ways. I hope to be more and not just a forgotten face. I'm not perfect and perfectly fine with being the crazy no one wants to show.