Someone Else

I feel so broken down, So beaten, I stand in the mirror and wonder when was I ever "beautiful"? Thoughts so many damn thoughts are swarming through my head How can I get through this I don't want to do this I don't want to do this I don't know when is the last time I have felt happy Everything this seems like a dream compared to this living nightmare. I am so restless I just want this to end I feel so hopeless I feel so weak I pretend I smile so fake But can't you see, when you look into my eyes how miserable I am How breakable I have become I just don't want to wake up I want the night to end The darkness engulfs me, tearing me limb from limb Causes this pain to sustain for eternity Please just go away Stop knocking at my door Creeping at my window And larking in my heart causes this pit of nothing I am nothing I am just living through each passing day Pathetically hoping, crying, and begging I loath myself I don't want to go home I want to run away I don't know where to go I feel useless Worthless Fat Ugly A failure Pathetic A loser I keep whispering why, in the dead of night So much rage I am driving myself insane I don't know what to do with myself I just don't want to do anything I just wish I wasn't me Everything happens for a reason, what reason is this What did I do to deserve this lifetime of misery I can't sleep I don't dream Everything is so empty in this world I drown myself in television, and homework Yet it does not drown out the world The world is kicking my ass Bullying me Breaking every fiber in my body I lie here on the ground wishing I wasn't myself Wishing I was someone else