someone yours

The biggest lie I ever told

Was not so much a destruction of truth

But a curtain

Thrown up hastily to hide

The elephant

Because when you said

You’ve never been loved

I shrugged and I said

Someday, someone

But the day has already passed

And the one has already walked

Out of that door

Because to love as I do

Is to lose a shred of my heart every time

And after a while, I grew tired

Of being grated til I was raw

Things wouldn’t have worked out

If you weren’t going to soothe my skin

So after a season of fantasy and dreams,

I cut myself down so you wouldn’t have the chance.

I grew back without you this time;

I grew back with him

And it was too late that I realized

That he was the same, he was worse

He built my dreams and burned them down

Faster than I could tell you I was sorry

And it hurt more, I think

Because as he learned me

He began to look around

But you - you learned me and stayed

To hear it all

And you gave me ideas and a rope to cling to when the

Mountains got too steep

You know me now

The worst parts;

The fears that I whisper into the walls of my shower

And the sadness that slows my blood

You are the first I run to

When it all comes flooding back

Because your raft has holes but

It still floats and

Sometimes all I need is to keep my head above water.

I don’t love you anymore,

Not like I did someday,

But there’s something in my breath reserved for you

That I haven’t shared with anyone in a long time

“You are worth being liked,” I said,

Instead of, “I loved you once.”