Something About Me

I want you to understand something about me.
I'm not a push-over, you see...
I'll never charge a fee, to be your lady friend.
And I'll stay with you till the very end.

You don't have to buy me anything,
to have me treat you like a king.
It's just the way I am.
In fact, we'll eat spam together if we have to.

We'll do whatever we want...within reason.
Short of committing treason, I'll have your back.
In fact, I'll steal you a Cadillac!
Which means I'd do time for you.
Problem is, I'd stick to you like glue.

Most men don't want that.
They want some hot-pink, half-dressed pussycat,
they can show off to their friends.
I'll never do that, because it offends me.

So...I guess we'll just be friends,
And you can bring over your new hot-pink pussycat.