Sometimes I Don't Know What to Say

I don't know how to write a poem when I don't know what to say When I don't want to stick around but I'm too numb to run away And I don't know what to say because that fear was all I knew But I don't feel anything now and I think I forgot how to rhyme- Or maybe I didn't I guess it just seems less pressing Because the real thing that's pressing me Has made such a mess of me Got me on this confessing spree Showing what's the boss of me- And it is. Always has been I pretend like it's not there when I know it'll come back again And it comes back every time And I can fake it all I want but I know it's just a matter of time Before it hits me one more time Please, not me this time, God I just need more time, God More time and it'll all be fine, God Right, God? I don't see it right now All I see is this angry bull staring me down And I know it's gonna hurt when he finally comes around But I just don't think that I'm ready for this round I just want to climb a tree And do things with my friends and pretend they're all like me Or maybe that I'm like them because they don't know the things I do Like how the things that hurt the most are the things that are sposeda help you Or how when you're in a hospital you never forget the smell And you know it'll save your life but it just feels like living hell And I don't want them to know that So God, I pray they never do And please keep your hand over them like I wish that I could, too... I don't know how to write a poem when I don't know what to say And sometimes the same thing happens when I come to You to pray Because I cried out three times for you to take it away But you haven't done that so I'll stick it out another day And choke out these words that I really hope you hear Because they don't all make sense to me but you can me it clear so My Father who art in heaven Hallowed be the thy name Thy Kingdom come, They will be done On Earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever And I guess that's all that matters