Sometimes I Forget
Sometimes I forget.
And oh the bliss that comes along with
these moments of unforeseen abstraction.
The bliss that helps me remember
What it is to be a child:
happy,
innocent,
and oblivious.
Oblivious to my own relentless suffering.
Oblivious to the pain of others,
and the destruction of the fragile
bonds that keep the world going.
But then I stand up.
And I see myself,
in the scrutinizing mirror upon my bedroom wall.
And I remember.
I remember that I am not
What I dream to be.
I remember that I am not
good enough for myself let alone others.
I remember how much
I loathe my own presence.
I remember all.
And the pain,
floods my inner self.
It plagues my mind
and poisons my soul
And oh what I would give to forget again.
To forget all of the poisonous thoughts
that run through my mind.
To forget the calling of death.
To forget what I have done to myself
and what others have done to me.
And deep down inside,
I know that all of this
is temporary
So I just need to remember,
to forget.