Song of Salmonella

(Inspired by Song of Myself by Walt Whitman) Ode I Salmonella loves chicken and duck If you don’t cook it well, you’re out of luck Raw eggs and turkeys too If you don’t wash up, it’s gonna get you This Gram negative makes you wish you took a sedative For 6 to 10 days this bacilli infects your bowel But in less than two, you’re gonna howl Symptoms from gastroenteritis For a week will keep you nauseous Vomiting, diarrhea, maybe a fever too I have to drink fluids to get over you II But Salmonella, you are still beautiful in our eyes Never mind your microscopic size So go on, don’t be shy Your long flagella could knock out any guy Your L form will always remain a mystery to me You need your cell wall to keep turgor pressure, you plea I cannot reach through your thick envelope For this tainted love, there is not much hope Chicken, turkey, unpasteurized milk Your lipid membrane, like delicate silk Salmonella, why do you cause me so much pain? Of my bowels, you are my bane I love the way you Gram stain red I love the way in eggs you tread Salmonella, prokaryote Just for you, this poem, I wrote