Sonnet 1

We were never meant to be a pair.

Your very presence shrinks me to a louse.

Your loud obnoxious laughter wastes the air;

While in contrast I speak less than a mouse.

Disgusting pimples ooze from all your pores,

Your thoughts consist entirely of food,

All your friends are puerile worthless bores,

So looking at the facts I must conclude:

That any passing thought I had for you,

Was nothing but a senseless strange mistake.

Though I would give credit where it's due,

From your "charms" no pleasure did I take.

And yet my face still flushes at your name,

And going back I know I'd do the same.