Sonnet to Express My Love for Her

by jcao219

June 24, 2013

E’erlasting Winter in Heaven subsides,

When Fated birds a Chapter newly sing.

A tune of Beauty which rare Hope provides,

and might from Cloth of Time a Springtime wring.

A Change of Seasons as a holy Task,

To a weary Prince of Paths entrusted was.

That He in fueling Sunlight soon would bask,

For Wings would grow to spare Him from the bus.

This path to secret Destiny of these,

Two different separate once-united Friends.

My mother, ever yearning for home’s peace,

From where the Wondrous Other’s late path bends.

I’ll fly to You, Fate’s Gift, Nymph of the West,

So that my gift, Fate’s blessèd mind, can rest.

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Comments (1)

QVJul 25, 2013

<p>I think the Poet Similarity option is very, very wrong. Your sonnet, with its omission of syllables, extra accent, and personifications are reminiscent of older writers (certainly not Jules Verne). While the style (in imitation of the masters) is great, a word of caution: I think you want to be a "modern" writer and not a relic of the past. Writing in this form can cause strange things to happen (for example: forced rhymes was/bus), inverted verses (for example: "I'll fly to You, Fate's Gift, Nymph of the West"), and the subtraction of syllables (which I noticed while browsing). If your title is correct, and you are expressing your love for someone, she either has an encyclopedic knowledge of mythology to understand all your allusions or she must have a strong interest in Renassiance Literature. I think your poem was written from the heart, but sometimes it is best not to let our rational beings wreak havoc on our emotions (especially in poetry). I enjoyed the challenge you were will to go through for "her" though. Keep on writing. Q.V.</p>

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