Soon Enough

I no longer ache to be rid of my pain

I no longer hide to be rid of my shame

I had lost all, rather than gained

My heart is like a fruit

Perhaps a peach

Sitting on a table, slowly deflating

The slightest touch might crumble it

Perhaps liquify it

Though I compare my heart to a peach, it is not as healthy and sweet

I mourn for hours, days, weeks at a time

I stand beneath the window, contemplating when I'd like to die

Soon enough, I'll come to a decision

Soon enough, I will decide...

The longer I yearn, the longer I mourn

The deeper I cut, the more it bleeds

But I'm not in pain

I'm simply in the state-of-mind of leaving

Rather wait for death, I'd like to face it

Because no matter how hard I try, this life and its way of being is awfully suffocating

Here I am

Writing, breathing and crying with hesitation

And the longer I'm alone, the more I contemplate

I mourn for hours, days, weeks at a time

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, contemplating when I'd like to die

Soon enough, I'll come to a decision

Soon enough, I will decide...

But until then, I'd like to continue writing