Sophomore Year

On September 2nd 2014 a new chapter of my life began

Sophomore year what is the plan?

Get good grades

But as the weeks turned into months

The days seemed to drag on

I joined new things so that I can keep going

Water polo went so quickly Color Guard and Swim too

I occupied my time with something anything

you're losing light kid find something to do okay I will

Hey K what's up how was that test?

Study, test, practice, compete, sleep, repeat

And find something to eat somewhere in between

Over and over this horrid cycle

It's necessary this has to get done

Put me first Pre-Cal is more important

So many things going through my head

It's a miracle that I'm not  dead

Not enough sleep, God, I'm feeling weak

Study more keep the grades strive for all A's

But somewhere along this journey I lost myself

I lost sight of who I wanted to be

what is all this for?

It no longer makes me happy

School sucks I just want to sleep

It's a good thing that I was tied down

no telling where I would be

not enough time in the day to get everything done

Time I wish I had more time

Seasons change and so did I

Who is this person staring back at me?

Friends all these new friends help shape this person I will be  

I just want this year to be done

Because summer means sleep

Emotions are stupid complicated

But They run deep

What is love? This is love? I don't want it

Existing among my peers

Hiding from my fears

Crying these pathetic tears

The future is too scary to think about

I'm not prepared at least I don't think I am

Sleep I just want sleep

But I don't want to sleep forever

Because then I wouldn't have lived

For all I know these could be the best years of my life

I'm trying to make the most of it

So when I look back i can say "I did it all

I didn't regret a second of it either

If this is my path to greatness and sleep is the price to pay

Then call me an insomniac

Sometimes being alive is more than being awake

It's the part where you live in every moment

Breathe in every breath

Not wondering about the what ifs

Or negative possible outcomes

It's easy being alive, but it's a tad bit harder to live

Sophomore year I learned to balance  sleeping and living

To chase my dreams even if I lose sight of them

To keep them close to my heart

And that it's ok to change my mind

Because I am me

I am preparing for the future everyday

I'm carving my own way