Sorry, Again

She says sorry like it's a punctuation Sorry for talking, sorry for crying, sorry for needing, sorry for existing a little too loudly in a world that taught her how to be quiet She apologizes when someone bumps into her, shifts when the mood changes when she didn't even do anything except for breathe I'm sorry sits on her own tongue before her own name does She learned early on that love feels safer when you take the blame first that if you shrink fast enough, soft enough, small enough, no one can accuse you of being too much So she folds herself down to fit in the room, rounds her edges and swallows her sharpness Sorry for the inconvenience of her feelings Sorry for the weight of her honesty Sorry for the tears that fall like they need permission She thinks apologies are armour but really they're little white flags she waves before anyone declares war, and sometimes late at night she wonders what it would feel like to stand still and not apologize for the space she takes up To say I feel this without cushioning it with guilt to let silence sit without rushing to fix it She doesn't know it yet, but the right people won't require a disclaimer that her existence is not an accident to apologize for One day she will replace I'm sorry with I deserve and the world will not end, it will simply just adjust to the size of a girl who finally stopped apologizing for being here