sorry I didn't care

I am sorry I don't bother to care, the words fall stark and true, A brutal, honest fracture in the world you thought you knew. The well of soft devotion, the easy, gentle grace, Has run to bitter sediment in this unforgiving space. I cannot conjure comfort, or summon up the lie, To shield you from the knowledge that my true response is "Why?" I'm sorry I don't bother to fake my happiness for you, The fragile, bright facade is what my spirit can't renew. The smile is a deflection, the laughter a false sound, And I refuse to wear the mask upon this hollow ground. The effort to sustain the dream, the burden to pretend, Has reached its final boundary, the one I couldn't bend. This refusal is a freedom, a brutal, sudden break, To let the raw, cold landscape be exactly what it is, for my own sake. I grant you the discomfort of my unadorned despair, And trade the sweet illusion for the truth I cannot share. My sorrow is my anchor, a statement clear and vast: The time for forced performance is mercifully past.