Sorry For My Mess

People laugh at pain

Like they never felt it

Like they never felt loss

That’s bullshit

We all have.

Rather it was our pen or our minds

We all have felt loss and pain,

Scabbed our knee or hit by a bullet,

We felt it

The frustration

The anger

We felt it

For many of us the pain, the loss

Happens in our minds

A product of our past

Or present experiences

I lost something

Something so precious

Something many people say I will never get back

I lost myself

I was wrapped up in this earthly world

And forgot I am connected to a supernatural source

One larger than this reality

I stopped accepting me

For the perfection that I am

I loved everyone else poured my soul into everyone else

But didn’t love myself

Was I really loving?

Is that really love?

A selfless love?

You can’t give what you don’t have

not even a mythical illusion that you have created in your head

But I found a power

A power that supplied me

With everything I need

Everything I lost

Like Ntozake,

“I found God in myself & I loved her fiercely”