Sorry/Not Sorry

I have stopped giving my apologies to the inner me That wants to fade away The part of me that dreams off in the distance The me of yesterday because the me of today hurts The portion of my being that has thrived on the depths of my aching soul The soul that yearns for a longing of needing to be loved Apologizing for the piece of me that silently craves for peace The fragment of who I am that's inclined to be boisterous While I modestly stand proud I've simply stopped apologizing for who I'm theoretically to be The one that shuts down when hope feels lost When hope fades and disappointment relics in the present When the present me seems worse off then me of years past The apology seems to comfort the moment I've solely stopped apologizing for the choices I've made For the mistakes that have molded me All the times I had a selfish bone in my body I have apologized for my melanin or the lack thereof The apologies some how seem to outpour when my anxiety is in an uproar But the genuineness of these apologizes seem to be fake as fuck I apologize once again for not being the strong black woman, I was raised to be Then I apologize for downing the strong woman I am The person that every apology has been spoken for The intimate consistent heartfelt tempestuous loving woman That has apologized for not attending to the inner person That apologizes for simply being me