#SorryNotSorry

I don’t know why seeing all your stuff in trash bags is so hard. 

I saw this coming from a million miles away, so what’s the big deal? What’s up with all these emotions anyways? 

 

Oh, I know, maybe it makes me angry that you were never really a dad. 

You never made an attempt to spend time with me, 

 

When mom and I would sit upstairs watching TV you would go downstairs to your dungeon and sit alone because you wanted to watch ESPN instead of spending time with your family. 

I vividly remember one night in the fifth grade, I had gone out and bought all the Harry Potter movies because I had just finished reading all the books. I set up the DVD player and ran upstairs with a bright light in my eyes and asked you if you wanted to come downstairs and watch with mom and me. 

You said Harry Potter was not your thing, you were just going to stay upstairs and watch something else. 

The light drained from my eyes, I held back the tears and as soon as I got downstairs the rivers began pouring out of my eyes and I asked mom why you never wanted to do anything with me. 

I thought that I was doing something wrong. 

 

All you did was sit at the dinner table, with us. 

You never helped me with my homework, you never sat and watched TV with me. 

You were never a dad. 

You left all the parenting up to mom, the weight of the world was sitting on top of her shoulders, all she wanted was some help and all you did was sit on your ass in your dungeon watching ESPN. 

 

The last time we did something together, just you and me, was when I was so little that I can’t even remember when it was. 

Second grade? Third grade? 

Guess what dad, I’m a sophomore now. It’s time to step up your game before I leave for college in two short years. 

I mean, or don’t step up. Let me resent you for not being a dad for the rest of my life. That’s fine too. 

 

And don’t even get me started on what you did to mom. 

She is the sweetest, kindest, most amazing woman I have ever known. 

You hurt her, you lied. You lied not only to her, but you lied to me. 

I think you started lying to yourself too. Maybe you started believing it. 

 

You did some awful stuff, dad. Despite it all, I hope you’re doing alright - scratch that. 

 

You deserve everything coming to you. 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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