Soul Ache

Aching Heart,

Felt very deeply,

Lying heavy,

Constantly.

It's just there

Where you think it ought to be,

Inside my chest,

Centre of me. 

It's been a while,

Since I felt easy,

Normality gone, 

Total irregularity.

Takes me away,

Joy & bliss,

Constant Sadness,

There is a twist.

Resentful am I,

To live this way,

Full of hurt and anger,

Total dismay. 

The truth is clear,

For all to see,

Abaondoned myself,

I really hate me. 

Reason behind this,

There's a story to tell,

Grown up with neglect, 

Emotional hell. 

Played the victim,

In my life you see,

Can't see past this point,

Having great difficulty. 

Struggling to let,

Pain stay away,

Inside my spirit,

I can't keep this madness at bay. 

Trying to form,

A new identiity,

An exhausting challenge,

Massivley.

Grief,

Sadness,

Ran so very deep,

Much total madness.

Push to feel free,

What I desire of me,

Feel my own suicidal terrorist,

Self tyranny

Working to remove,

This burden of me,

Expressing what I want,

Truthfully.

Open my chest,

Surgically,

Take a better look,

Emotionally.

Pushing too hard,

To set myself free,

Absolutely knackered,

Lethargy.

Trauma is stuck,

Accept that part of me,

Time ticks away,

A lot waste, regretfully.