Soul searching

In this life I used to feel hope I still believe in this Each moment a little less I feel abandoned in my feelings They are difficult to repair. I get broken each day I speak about trauma I keep these emotions in my head I find myself hiding behind my smile The fake one that shows my denial I have thoughts of self harm. No person should have to hurt Themselves just to find some peace I camouflage my feelings so well It feels like I live in he'll I hurt on the inside Trying to push demons aside. I want to be better I know it can be manageable But in my head it feels like The world is closing in on me I wish I can find the old me. I feel trapped inside a cocoon I would like to hatch I need to end this Find my happy self And find my soul.