Soul's Inferno

Of my soul’s many ailments, one curse, a fearsome, towering demon,

Lays claim to my kingdom, leaving sheer destruction in its wake.

Its Modus Operandi is simple wickedness;

A never-ending tormentuous war against foes of my own creation,

Ideas, fears and thoughts, that may never see the light of day.

Others – they call these fears, the thoughts of my soul, “warrantless”.

How can they possibly be unwarranted, how can there possibly be no reason for them,

When constantly, seldom with any respite between occurrences,

They physically take hold, manifesting before my very eyes?

For every irrational predication that captures my being

A thousand more never leave the confines of the vile witches cauldron within me,

A deathly mix of emotional diseases and soul-rending thoughts,

Constantly amusing the demons within me that take hold

Leading me down a path of utter ruin and devastation.

Even with this witch’s mix brewing constantly inside my heart,

Sometimes my preconceived ideas and fears are false:

Instead, I’m allowed a visit to my soul’s meadow, a trip of happiness -

A moment meant only to utterly deceive me, as the price

Is to journey down to the depths of the infernos,

Spending a seeming eternity in hell for each piecemeal of joy that I attain.

This deathly disturbed filter on my mind’s kaleidoscope

Surely is the cause for this torture, as evil begets evil;

A ‘simple’ task like changing this outlook is unmistakably impossible, however,

When everything that I believe to be wrong is right,

And the few things that I think are right, the few that I desire, are always wrong.

This constant self-torture that I endure leads me to wonder:

How can I trust anyone, how can I trust anything, when I can’t even trust myself?