Spanish Night

Can I lie awake at night and listen to your soft whisper in my ear

Saying “te amo”

Without forgetting of my promise to myself

That I would never love without trusting again

But I hear a man lay next to me with calm endearing words

That make my body shiver

Words that make me trust and love

When I never had the capability of doing it again in my life

A man I have never been captured into his arms late at night

And made love to

A man I haven’t kissed because of the taste of wine on my lips

A man I haven’t fallen in love with

Not quite yet

Yet I am so vulnerable when I hear his voice

And his lips pressed against my ear

I feel so lonely and safe at the same time

Knowing I will never be with him

But right now I know that I can lay next to him and keep my head on his chest

And be comfortable with a man I barely know

I man I trust because his words are so soothing

When I lay down with him

I stop thinking

Time stops

I stop thinking of how I look

Or what I say

Or how much makeup I have on

When I lay down next to the man that whispers into my ear

“Me gustas”

Which is not love

It’s just my imagination taking off

It’s letting my heart go and fall for another that I hardly know

This time going in more cautiously

And listening instead of hearing it

Taking his words in like ice melting

“Hermosa”

He calls me

And for some reason I believe him

Why do I believe him

When I have been tourched

And beaten and robbed of my love and sanity

Why does he make my heart skip a beat like it did

back when you would get a crush in grade school

Why do I fall for a man like this

A relationship destined to fail

Because we may fall asleep by him calling me

“Hermosa”

“Compasivo”

“Una paloma”

“Mi angel”

Yet I know in the morning

When the light shines through the window

And I wake up in hopes to see his shining face

He is still there

Waiting for me to awaken from the dream I had

From the dream of him laying next to me

But it was all just a dream

And he will never know it.