The Spark of Hope

“The Sun is a star and so are you”

Lulles mommy on a starry night

“Toughen up young lad”

Bellows father tall - the shield he is

The shield he is…

“Stop,”I say “Stop”

Brother mine, devil incarnate

“On one condition” he sneers

Ugh, the list is endless

“Timmy” I beg, “Chip” she cries

The dog’s name is mine to decide

Arguments ensue, but all beware

My sister is not yours to share

School, school, oh why do you exist?

Time is too short to waste on lies and the dead

But what to do, it’s what the parents say

“You’ll need it in the future so do what you may”

Years go by, it gets tougher and tougher,

Exams and tests, another day perhaps?

Friends come and friends go

They pull you for your strengths

And drop you when you’re too weak to stand

Mama always told me,

“You don’t need friends,

God is your only true friend when your time comes to an end”

That’s easy to say and easy to believe

But what about high school,

Oh, I dreaded them bullies

Brethren told me once

They sneer, they tease, they pull your hair

Call you names and then they stare

I know now, that it’s worse than that

“Ugliness is an ugly word,” said grandma many a time

But not when you think it to be true, then its fine

Loneliness was a disease, at least in my school it was

But I told myself, “not at all who wander are truly lost’

Books were my best friend, had my nose living in one

Life outside is very different to the one I made up

Finished school, university too, hard it was

But who could escape the clutches of Horace Mann?

I got a job at a publishers office,

Worked for the joy and not for the luck

There I met my only her

The only woman, my only love

We met at a cafe right outside of work

We both sat there reading with a cup of coffee

She lost her bookmark, I found it for her

Little did I know then that,

She was the bookmark to my book

The map to my life

She said yes without a comma

I married her without a question

We had children three, her suggestion

She got sick after her trip back from Moscow

She got alright, don’t worry but I got you there

We moved houses, probably five

New memories, new places, her job asked for it

She moved, I followed

I stayed late at work most days

She never argued, she never frayed

She brought me coffee, a cookie if I was lucky

What to do? Diabetes got me quicker than age

We grew together with fights and laughs

Told the kids off for being too rough

They grew up, kindergarten, high school, university too

Oh how quick they grow, in numbers too

Grandparents we were, uncle and aunty too

They moved away and we retired

Sat in a hammock watching movies next to a fire

Blankets, pillows and popcorn too

The forts we built don’t need to speak about

We were old and yet felt youthful

Felt like time was relative

You choose the speed, you choose the speed

It’s all fairies and rainbows until the one you love

The one you need doesn’t claim to know you

Alzheimer's they said Alzheimer's they said.

She did not recognise the grandkids

She did not recognise the kids

She did not recognise her mother or father

She did not recognise me

Remember the bookmark, the wedding

The different houses, the cookie I sneaked to work

The coffee she always thought made me fatter

The pot belly of mine that only she could see

The secret place in the library where we keep

Our gifts we gave each other

The shirt, the feather, the picture of us on a roller coaster.

She doesn’t remember me

She doesn’t remember us

I never blamed her or fate,

She lived and that’s all matter

We lived for years in silence and confusion

That was okay

At least I got to see her radiant face every day

The day came when she left

Died next to me on the bed with a smile

She had one hand on my belly

The other she held my hand

Asked for my name and stopped breathing

I cried, I wasn’t strong, I cried.

My kids asked me to move in with them

I refused quite obviously

I spent the days after sitting on the hammock

Reading the library and drinking coffee

I wrote and wrote hoping that someday

Another sun will be born

With a life like mine,

maybe better, maybe worse

For even stars have finite lives

But they shine every day

Through the explosions,

Through the heat

All they need is a spark,

A spark of hope

Is all they need.`