Speachless

First I want to start off with “IM SORRY”

I was angry, upset, devastated knowing that you were going through some serious shit that I didn’t have any control over.

I wasn’t able to help you.

I wasn’t able to take the pain away.

I saw how you were zoning out on me

It hurt me more than anything.

Instead of understanding that you were hurt I argued with you.

The next day I wanted to say sorry for I knew I was wrong

…..Than to my surprise I see you’re in a coma.

I had tons of hope that you were going to get out of this.

Second day of you in your coma I had high hopes, NO…. I was sure that you were going to get out of it.

I decided to make you Godmother of my unborn son. I entered your room believing that you got out this coma but you didn’t.

I saw trays of cookies, coffee, and muffins.

I didn’t know what it meant, thought it was because there were family members coming in and out 24/7.

I still had high hopes.

 Then at night I saw how you were discoloring.

I touched your skin and you felt slightly cold.

I didn’t want to leave for I knew you were going to leave me.

………..

At 7:30 AM of March 11^th 2014 you were pronounced dead.

I looked calm but I was hurt, upset, SPEACHLESS

 My baby sister died!

Not because she was rebellious,

Not because she was in anything gang related

But because of Cancer

Because of the rarest cancer there is.

Epithelioid sarcoma.

I hate myself for I was the last person you spoke to before going away

I was your last fight.

Only God knows how badly I want to go back in time to fix what I’ve done.

There isn’t a day that I think about it.

I am SORRY!!!!

I love you and miss you.

In Loving memory of

 Johanna “Nana” Nazario

08/21/96 - 03/11/14