A special morning

It’s all very vivid; it is rich in every sense. I am so lucky to remember it so well.

The sun was so bright, glaring into our eyes, even with the curtains lightly placed over the long windows. An awareness of bliss replaced the usual groggy morning feeling. I knew, right then, I would never forget a moment of this.

The sun, still full of light gleaming into our squinted eyes, only got brighter. We were covered in what felt like fluff, though the summer air was thick and the temperature was nearly perfect. Two airy pillows were beneath our heads, mostly yours, and mine was where it fit best; the space between your chest and your arm. I remember opening my eyes and looking up at you, only to see that you were already looking at me. I closed them, my body unaware of whether it was asleep or awake. I must’ve fallen back asleep, and it seemed like forever, but suddenly I was brought to consciousness by the touch of your gentle lips melting into mine.

I had only dreamt of moments like this. I was reminded in that particular moment that I loved you, almost more than my being could handle. If every organ, bone, muscle, in my body had a brain every single one would be thinking about you all the time.

Somewhere between the kiss and looking over my shoulder to check the time, we both fell back asleep. The next time one of us woke up, it was me. I remember lifting my heavy head so my eyes could watch you. I don’t know how long I was silently looking at you, taking you in, because I simply got lost in you. I could only be found in you. When I am with you, I am a star swallowed up by the sky during the day.

I looked at you with certainty. There was nothing in my life I was absolutely sure about but you.

I swear I could’ve looked at you all day but I knew not even the world could stop for a love this consuming. I prepared for the last moments of appreciation and slowly leaned to reach your lips with mine. Even with the slightest and lightest of touches, when we touched it was overpowering but mostly overwhelming.

My heart giggled when you reluctantly started to wake up. The most vulnerable and real part of someone is shown in those fragile moments. You opened your eyes slower than a snail and still they were barely at a squint. You were beautiful, you always were, but in that instance I noticed it more than usual. I couldn’t look at you without smiling at how lucky I was to have you, to be with you right then. Still, as humans, we always long for more. I remember the feeling of gratitude was replaced, for split second, by the wish that I could wake up to this everyday. Quickly, I was reminded that I was blessed to wake up to you on this day, and that thought didn’t drift far again.

I’ve woken up to you before, this was not the first time, but something about this particular time was more special than the others. Maybe it was the way the sun hit your sleepy eyes, or the way we woke up like we were playing tag; one than the other. Or perhaps it was the heartbreaking truth that this was the last time we would wake up to each other, always floating in the back of our minds. It could have been anything, but for me, I was doubtful it could’ve been anything other than that.

My head moved with your breath as I continued to look up at you, admiring your charm. We didn’t speak for a while right then, but instead we laid in silence; taking each other in. That’s when we lost track of time and forgot about the world beyond ourselves. We were awakened by reality. Our last time was at the end. This was the end of the end; the end of our end.