Spit

You can spit and you can spit

until your mouth is withered with defeat

but even then

they will still 

only be annoyed and disgusted

by the puddle beneath their feet

They make you feel foolish,

like your words don’t matter at all,

as if your pain’s a joke,

your voice too small.

You can spit and you can spit

until your tongue is dry

but even then

they will only

think "ew" and never think "why"

They swear they're listening, they swear they can hear

but can never recall or repeat

the words you said so clear

only that you were swearing

yet never the reason, never the fear

You can scream and you can screech

until your words fall flat

but even then

they will just

hear the sound

and not the fact

They say all you want to do is argue

trying to prove that you're right

when all you ever wanted

was to be heard

just for a night

You can beg and you can plead

until your lips crack and bleed

but even then

they will swear

nothing said

was ever meant like that

they call your hurt a debate

your words a fight

as if listening meant losing

and silence

meant you were right

You can spit and you can spit

until your throat is raw

but even then

they will only

step around the mess

and never think to confess

what forced it out of you at all

Every word you offered,

every truth you recall,

they twist it, dismiss it,

and act like it’s nothing at all.

You can spit and you can spit

until you finally quit

and even then

they will claim

you chose to feel

this way

One day you stop spitting

not because they finally listen

but because

every word was swallowed

and swallowing is easier

when your tongue has a glisten

You save your spit,

you save your sound

because silence is easier

than being drowned

even when you spoke

they turned away

so why pour out words

that will only decay

They only see the flinch

the anger, the swearing

never the hurt that made you inch

towards not speaking at all

Now some don't even know

the sound your voice can give

you let it drift into silence

the only way to live

You learned to hold

the words that could carry

such a risk of scold

to guard each one

keep them controlled

You spit and you spit

until you have no spit left

until your mouth refills

with the air that now holds nothing

but the silence you've grown into

You speak and you speak

and when you have nothing left

you finally realize

you can't be unheard

if you never give them

anything to hear at all