Springtime

by clairea96

March 22, 2014

after the lights fell

and the flashbulbs burst

the record hushed and

your fresh milk skin

poured over me

champagne strands stuck

to your lips

butterfly kiss

paper wings darted

between the gaps in

our ribs, nicked a

paper cut on my

heart

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Comments (1)

QVMar 24, 2014

<p>Beautiful! "[Y]our fresh milk skin poured over me". Your juxaposition of images is amazing, instead of milk white skin(which is over used),the skin is milk being poured, there are strands of champagne (reminiscent of rain on lips), and darts moving through the ribs. The light does not just fall (a common naturalisic symbol), but the flashbulbs itself burst (bringing the reader into the room). There is great promise in your simple style, and I hope you share more examples. Keep on writing and sharing, QV</p>