The Stages

There are three stages to falling in love

first your back bends, breaks

sound muffled by the

cacophony of whistles and shouts that erupt,

your mind

considers their actions, thoughts

even their eyelashes

intrigue you

the sound of their voice

massages you to sleep while

rising you in the morning,

sketching out your similarities

following his blueprint on love

your worlds dance across each other there’s

little to do, nothing to worry

your chest hums next to his

you two look good together

and the -er sounds like forever

this begins the fall

there are three stages to falling in love.

Step two, your toes spring off the ground

Heels planted,

Rubber under your feet

rubs out the distrust, the daddy issues, the fears of falling

ignore repeated offenses and the

salted cheeks he brings, appearing

as your mind recreates his words

slipping into a cycle of blame

I was wrong, I did this,

I am wrong, I do this

He

stomps a foot on emotions,

hard, leaves you with this

new determination to

stop     but

each time their words say

I’m not a bad man, even if I make bad choices

screaming

I’m a good man, I make bad choices

Believe this man, believe that he doesn’t

know what he’s saying when he never says

“I love you,”

you don’t mind, you imagine the inflection of

his voice saying:

“I love you,”

there are three stages to falling in love, and by

this point you have already begun the fall

hold your arms out

trust that he will catch you

trust that he won’t mind catching you,

that he’ll smile

trust, as you fall

There are three stages to falling in love.

Step three: the body, your body, that

he’s caressed, held, kissed all over

Is on the floor.

Instinctively your fingers reach for his hand

Instinctively your fingers reach out for

Instinctively your fingers reach

But it’s cold

There are three stages to falling in love   

                           with yourself

the first is realizing that you are on the floor.

the second is picking your body up,

lift the chin, lift the neck, lift the chest,

and the heart and the stomach and the pelvis

and the knees and finally you will stand

on your own feet and come to the

third, the final stage of falling in love,

when you can look into the mirror

and realize you don’t long for him

to fill the empty space

next to your reflection.