Stand On My Own (A Stream of Consciousness)
Don't call me your angel.
Don't call me your baby girl.
I can't possibly belong to anyone.
It's not by choice.
It's just my destiny.
I was meant to stand alone,
an icon of myself.
I was meant to be strong
and a leader all my own.
I'm hard to love
because I'm so hard to handle.
God has other purposes for me
than belonging to someone.
I belong to myself, and it
gets hard when even you can't
trust yourself sometimes,
when you become your own
worst enemy.
When you start to damage
yourself through
perfectionism and insecurities,
pulling on your strings.
My best friend needs to be myself.
My only hero is me.
I simply can't let anyone get close
to my heart.
I don't doubt their love.
I doubt their love for the true me.
I doubt their love is anything but
an ideal of the things they see.
I'm afraid to love anymore
because my past has trained me
that getting close means
impending heartbreak.
I'm such a conflicting contradiction.
When I love, I love so hard.
Then I back away suddenly out of fear.
I take things too quickly
because there's too much passion
and so much love to give.
I want to love, I want to love, I want to love.
But I don't think I'm supposed to.
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