the stars in your eyes

the light in your eyes that shines when you laugh used to light up my world and my world was a small town and our little house with our big garden and it was comfortable and it was everywhere and it was perfect and we breathed on steadily and quietly through the night as we had our whole lives and everytime you exhaled i heard a lullaby and it was warm and it was home and it was love and soon the dawn hesitantly peaked over the horizon and the golden light shimmered through trees in the backyard and it was new and it was exciting and it was temptation and soon the sun rose and i was blind and i looked over at you and your eyes were still shining but i could barely see them in the morning glow and it was big and it was terrifying and it was the world and soon we left that town and we absorbed the world and you and i ran and leaped and smiled but i went faster and higher and bigger and i was trapped and i was confused and i loved you. i really did. but i was more and soon it was me and you were there but also you werent there at all and i was soaring and you were cleaning up the small new york apartment and tending the garden you kept on the porch and it was dying and it was crumbling and i was sorry and soon i missed our cottage and our garden and the stars in your eyes and all i had was memories and i was sorry and i was sorry and i was sorry and soon i was at the top of the corporate ladder and i did it we did it we made it but you were crying quietly when you thought i wouldnt see and the stars fell out of your eyes and onto the kitchen floor and it was heartbreaking and it was broken and i just loved you too much to keep you there and soon i was alone in the new york apartment CEO Fortune 500 and i sobbed and howled and wept hoping the sound would fill the place you used to fill and i was lonely and i was pathetic and i was 'successful' and soon i melted into my work to drown out the pain of the dress you wore when i took you out to an expensive dinner and where you kissed me on new years eve and how you used to look at me and feel something other than confusion and i was miserable and i was rich and i was hurt and i had hurt you and soon i stopped hiding the pain and let the way that i missed you hit me like a truck because you thought i was better than you and i know youre better than i could ever hope to be and later you moved back to our small town and much later your stars moved back to your eyes and i was never around to see you glow because i didnt deserve you and i am sorry and i am sorry and i am sorry.