Starving

Please people..Pity me don't envy me, for I endlessly hunger for some kind of fulfillment... Instead I am trapped in my own little game of shamelessly aimless cute messages...sexy picture mails..and many 1st but not too many second dates with these faceless nameless men… I order from buffets and hoards of misguided macho men who climb the food chain of lust just to touch the shallow, hollowed-hologram dream I seem to beam their way with a smile and wink of the eye. Yet... I fast from love, taking emotional diets of occasional lust, hoping not to gain those extra pounds and be weighed down and bound by the burdens of commitment and affection... all the while I gaze back at my reflection of a love anorexic.... I exit meals of emotional commitment... with intents of keeping an unrealistic image of a joyfully slimming free spirit... a happily single sister who needs no mister… I easily fast from lust… indulge in attention... and leave them with a deep blue mood and figutive balls the same hue. Yet to those lone, quiet corners of regret I rush, to unconciously purge the metabolic urges of emotional attachment. I continue to detach myself from those flirtatious binges where I've ended up biting off way more than I can chew. So again I have to spew and spit out countless numbers of heart broken story telling-bitter men. Only to turn around and pursue the next. I began my seach for something new... something even more appealing, yet not quite fulfilling, flavorful but not able to hold any substance, no matter if its fattening or lacking any nutritional value, because as soon as I find him I know what I'll do. I'll binge then I'll purge. I'll love then I'll leave. So at night in my bed itll still just be uncommited-no strings attached single me...